Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Trouble



Hospitality
Trouble
(Merge)

Later tonight (February 9th, 2014, as I write this), Brooklyn band Hospitality will be performing a show at Portland’s Doug Fir Lounge.  I plan on attending, since I somehow made an excuse not to go after their prior trip through town (in support of their wonderful 2012 self-titled debut - #24 pick seen here).  And again, I find myself in a dilemma.  The show is a Sunday night.  We’ve had a shower of ice layer over the streets after a few days of unusual amounts of snow, I’m old, I work early tomorrow morning, and I’m not sure I will be able to convince anyone to join me.  Should I go?  I’m listening to their new second album right now and the internal battle between my love of music and desire to support the bands I love versus the cheap old curmudgeon shut in that I’ve become rages on.  What to do?

There is a dilemma spread across Trouble as well.  Of course, the crossroads explored in vocalist/guitarist Amber Papini’s lyrics are a lot more in depth and more important than my trivial one.  Papini seems to be stuck in a purgatory between the desire for a relationship and a desire to be alone.  This is something I think all of us can identify with at some point in our lives.  Do we want to deal with the weirdness, frustration, compromise and potential heartbreak of dating or do we want to be lonely?  Neither one sounds particularly appealing, does it?  Maybe this is the jaded view and we should always dream of that perfect match that only a rare few of us seem to find in life, but such are the emotional ups and downs of love and life.

Let’s begin with the lonely side of the equation.  The smooth Luna sounding first single, “Going Out” (the video fittingly stars Luna’s Dean Wareham and Britta Phillips), finds our protagonist dressing up for a night on the town (“ruffled dresses and parasols / rhinestone rings and high-heeled soles / wrapped in cloth from your head to toe”), but the frosty night only turns out to be an evening stroll alone (“you’re looking at yourself a lot / standing in the glass with costume on / posed for no one but you were caught”).  The stuttering “I Miss Your Bones” finds her alone either from separation or from being let go, while the epic and mysterious sounding “Last Words” finds her stranded on an island wanting companionship desperately enough to “evacuate to salty arms of a soldier or a snake.”  On the closing spare acoustic “Call Me After,” Papini finds herself outstaying her welcome due to a rainstorm and the resulting humiliation of this realization: “Will you want me after? / will you want to walk me home in the dark? / is it the weather that just keeps me?”

Yet, on the other side of the coin, the album opens up with Papini’s faux British accent cursing a cheating lover in “Nightingale” (“If you sleep here you’ll see sirens and vamps”) over the top of spectacularly splashing cymbals in the rousing denial chorus: “What girl?”  In the brief “Inaugaration” finds Papini sitting alone watching TV and giving a subtle kiss off to her missing partner (“Why you call and say / you’ll call me back / I’ll disconnect the line”), while the first album Psychedelic Furs sounding “Rockets and Jets” is a case of a lovely sunny afternoon out watching planes when things go south (“I left the knife on the rafter / I’ll have your heart after / I know this won’t last too long / I’ll have the day a long long time”).  Meanwhile, the frank “It’s Not Serious” is all about being the on the other side and disinterested – “I’ll figure out / I don’t want this / and so it’s not serious”).  Clearly, there are no easy answers.  We are all heroes and villains in the world of love – depending on whose side you’re on, but finding a balance between independence and companionship is not easy to achieve.

Musically, this sophomore album is a big departure from the to-the-point baroque pop of their debut.  As hinted at in the post album double-A sided 7,” “The Drift” b/w “Monkey,” the band have decided to stretch things out and linger over notes and passages in a more spacious way.  Much like the early 80s post-punk influenced cover art (reminds me of early OMD); the music sounds like it could’ve been recorded from that period.  There is a darkness and mystery behind many of these songs and the keyboard layers and moments of programmed beats and stark piano hammers enhance the indecisiveness and hollow feelings of the words, while the space allows for bolder crescendos and longer passages of near silence.

It is fun to hear a band growing and trying new things and so successfully.  This album is an enjoyable listen from start to finish from the get go, but it reveals more and more with repetition.  Now, should I go to the show tonight?  I really should.  They’ve travelled a meandering 3,000 plus miles to arrive here across a nation decimated by bone chilling cold and treacherous roads.  It seems as though I could chance a 15 minute drive to see them perform.  But I do have to be up early tomorrow….  



Hospitality "Going Out"

 

Monday, October 18, 2010

The Book of Love


Yesterday, I made a half-hearted attempt at trying to sort through the stacks and stacks of stuff I have allowed to pile up in my place. By sorting, I really mean purging. The goal is to get rid of it all. This will not ever happen, but I like to believe that it will. After dumping a bunch of useless paperwork, I tried tackling a box of my old writing. As I’ve mentioned before, I have random notebooks and loose sheets of paper piled in drawers and boxes, crammed with handwritten writing efforts. This is when I discovered a little yellow sheet of paper crumpled up and smashed into the corner of the box I was going through. It was not titled. Since I have been unable to get myself to write at all in recent times, I thought I’d share this scattered thought from my past, which may have been a rough draft as an intro for an old issue of the “This Wreckage” ‘zine. I know I did not use it. Clearly, I came to my senses.

“I’m only pulling pieces
From the pages of my former life
Stiff and wrinkled paper
Written in a different time
Are you gonna cross the line?”
- Corin Tucker, 2010

Being careful. No, you did not want to hurt her. You left no traps. Only an open door. Biting your tongue and smiling through the pain. Everything is perfect in here. Everyone is smiling. Everyone is happy.
Being too careful. Being someone different, because what you are is not enough. Nothing will last from this. Everything built on a foundation of lies.
Nothing works. Relationships are always doomed to fail. Fear, lies, miscommunication, misunderstanding and then, finally, truth. Inevitably, truth is the end. It’s really sad too. The simple delusions we put ourselves and others through.
Nothing works. Failure can appear from nowhere. All feels fine. All feels good. All feels right. No. Let’s screw it up. Let’s walk away.
Sometimes I wish I knew someone who believes in things spiritual. I don’t believe and I can’t (this person would disregard this). I wish I could be convinced that there is a plan, because I do not like what I see. I do not like what I feel.
Sometimes I get so anxious that a big ball wells up in my throat making it difficult to breathe. My lungs quicken, my hands clench into fists and my heart pounds erratically. This feeling arises far too frequently these days and at times as disparate as being pulled over in my car by a cop to seeing what I think may be a cute girl wandering around a half mile away. But this feeling is strongest when I’m alone and wishing a girl who used to like me would pretend to again. It’s during these times when the feeling of regret becomes so overwhelming that I cannot fathom why I made such rash and harsh decisions without care for how this could affect anyone, especially me.
Last year, was easily the worst year of my life. Half of it was bad, due to my own stupidity. The other half: I had no control over. It scared the shit out of me. Three down and I was nearly the fourth. Things may have turned out better if I had. Maybe I should’ve gone. If only the nurses hadn’t acted so quickly. Maybe if a doctor had not been available. I never did like to make decisions for myself. It’s too hard.
Full circle now. I’m left feeling nothing these days. Not a damn thing. Empty. Hollow. Yes, that’s right, kind of like a relationship where one or both people has lost interest, yet they keep it going. Why keep it going? It’s going to fail anyway.
- May 7, 1992