Small Talk

 

I suppose it all depends on how different people define small talk.  To me, it means a conversation that is based on meaningless and safe topics.  In my world, these topics are generally about the weather and forecasts of the weather.  These days, it seems, that pretty much every topic can be divisive, and even weather could lead a conversation down a dark road of conflict.

However, I have never been good with small talk.  I fail at it.  I realize it’s importance.  It is a comfortable way to pass time when around strangers, it can open the door to deeper conversations, when none of those present knows how to jump in, it’s a way to feel other people out, and it can help people avoid that dreaded conflict that stresses a lot of us out.  It’s all casual and non-threatening 

When I say that I fail at it, I mean that I’m not good at it.  To me, it’s always been frivolous.  We only have so much time on this planet.  Why do we spend so much time talking about shit that no one cares about?  Don’t get me wrong.  I am obsessed with weather.  I watch all of the local forecasts with an old man’s focus.  I am interested in doppler radar, barometric pressures, heat indexes, and the various forecast models, and I check the weather app on my phone way more than I’d like to admit.  I can tell the difference between actual meteorologists and presenters on TV, and can become annoyed, if I believe that they don’t know their stuff.  Yet, hearing a bunch of random people talk about the weather – mostly wildly inaccurately, is quite possibly the last thing I want to do.  If it all were soundtracked by Todd Rundgren’s “Bang on the Drum All Day,” then my misery would be complete. 

When I find myself in those prime small talk situations, alone with random people for an indeterminate amount of time, I generally shut up.  I am not a talker to begin with.  However, I will take part, if someone else initiates, or if something that I think is strange happens and I can’t help but make some sort of crack.  If I do start yammering, I will start asking questions of the person, or people.  It’s a good way to not talk about myself.  Apparently, asking questions is often too much for most people.  Unless, it’s work-related, or weather related, or some such, people make it clear that anything personal is out of bounds.  Seems to be related to the invisible personal space bubble that most of us have, in various sizes (mine is very large), it seems to include probing questions and revealing personal thoughts.

I guess that’s it.  I am no different than most people.  I find ways to avoid sharing too much self-information, and people that can talk a lot about nothing, are trying to do the same thing, just in a different way.  They have learned how to use small talk, where I have not.  Asking probing questions often shuts down a kind of connection, and that’s where I fail. 

Small talk bothers me that much more with people that one already knows.  I do not need the weather run down, I don’t need a meaningless list of activities that they’ve checked off some sort of list.  I get this a lot, for example: when people talk about what music they’re listening to, what books they’ve read, what movies they’ve seen, and especially what TV shows they’ve been streaming, but that’s it.  A list of things is meaningless to me.  I can only find interest, if these things come with information.  Were these various things enjoyable and why?  Are they recommending them to me?  I want to ask these follow up questions, but they are often met with an exasperated reaction and rarely any answers.  To me, it feels like there’s no point.  I’m interested in the reason behind people’s choices, and what makes them tick.  I want to know about them.  I am incredibly slow to trust people, and always have been.  It helps me trust, if I know more about who I am dealing with.  Plus, I am genuinely interested.  The same is true with the weather topic.  If the topic, comes with a story, it can become intriguing.  Not every topic of conversation has to be deep and meaningful, but at least bring something personal to the table!  Tell a story!

Still I find small talk amongst friends very strange.  I understand building up to more in-depth topics of conversation, but if there is a solid base of familiarity there, why waste time chatting about weather, or other frivolous topics, unless there’s a story there?  I don’t understand.  Perhaps, it’s me.  Maybe I am untrustworthy.  Perhaps, I do not do a good job of creating a trusting space, or am too judgmental, or am not deemed worthy of being privy to such information.  I am seriously trying to understand.  I’m trying to notice which types of questions make me uncomfortable and not ask those, because as I said before, I'm slow to trust others.  For example, recently I met my cousin Laura, who is a high school English teacher, at the wonderful Auntie’s Bookstore in Spokane.  I don’t get to see her often, every few years, but after a few moments of greeting, I asked her for a book recommendation - like what is her all-time favorite book – the book that has most impacted her.  Though, I really want to know, I immediately realized that that was a very personal and pressurized question, and totally unfair.  I likely would have changed the subject like she did.

Amazing that I can say all of this, while writing about something that is frivolous.  It is something I’m trying to learn though.  I want to do better, and I want to understand why we as a people struggle so much to communicate, when we’re around each other.  Me, included, if not especially!  We’re all each other have. 

 

Love Lives in the Body

 

Soft Blue Shimmer

Love Lives in the Body

(Other People)

Love Lives in the Body is Soft Blue Shimmer’s second album, and as I’ve said before, this band’s sound is one that I love!  I have trouble writing about them.  My love for them does not elicit any kind of narrative.  I just enjoy their music.  It seems to be deeply rooted in me.  I remember a time when I was in my early twenties and in love with the idea of love.  I had experienced, in a big way, that early electric bliss that comes with a fresh crush/relationship and on the other side of the coin, around the same time, I had gone through a lot of serious heartbreak and loss.  I became a mess of emotions and conflict.  Everything in life became exceedingly poignant and powerful.  Inevitably, all of the songs I loved from that era that evoked any direct emotions from those experiences, all still tap into those vivid days.  I began to amass a soundtrack for those times.  Songs that poked the bruises of those emotions were of a wide variety of sounds, but are all linked in their own genre that only makes sense to me.  Soft Blue Shimmer’s warm sound envelops me into that world – a world of my deepest desires and regrets - the things that bring tears to my eyes.  Their songs mean a lot to me in a deeply embedded way.  Perhaps, they’ve stumbled upon just the right dose of bittersweet.  I miss the feeling of feeling so much.  Age and accumulation of experiences, at least for me, has numbed me, despite my best intentions to avoid it.  Hearing music like this makes me feel alive.  In some ways, I need to keep that bruise going.

Love Lives in the Body, indeed.  Much like Soft Blue Shimmer’s music lives in my body.  Main vocalist, Meredith takes a breath in and out to open their second album, before we are set into their stunning musical realm.  It’s like a ‘here we go’ prep.  Their wash of soft buzzing guitars, plush drums, and Meredith’s heavenly vocals are always pleasing, and it’s about then when I realize that I will be listening to these songs a lot!

The slow unfurling of the pre-LP single, “Prism of Feeling,” is beautiful as it blooms into a sound that one wants to hear again and again.  This is similar to the rising earnestness of “Cloudless.”  “9090” is the most upbeat song, while “Memory / Fantasy” is quite melancholy with matching incredibly visual and poetic lyrics.  Definitely my early favorite.

The album unfolds in an unusual way.  It leans toward the dreamy side early, and increases the tempo and pop hooks as it progresses.  SBS, have found a magical balance between the shoegazey elements I love and the crisp fizz of indie pop, which I love as much.  They remind me a bit of 90s legends, Majesty Crush, only without the creepy and sinister lyrics.  I feel a profound loss in these songs, thought I am likely projecting, as they explore not just the emotional loss of a loved one, but the physical one as well.  It’s a thought-provoking thread to consider and deeply felt.  Maybe that’s part of what poking the bruise is all about.  So often, we mourn the emotional loss, but not the little things, like just the right touch to the forearm at just the right time.  Love Lives in the Body evokes all of that.

The dichotomy between the darkness of the words and the bright music is fantastic - something that has always appealed to me!  On their Bandcamp page they let us know that they’re here to make you think about stuff or forget about stuff.  Could not be more accurate.  Timeless music!  Their records are like the best candy that we all try to save to consume last.   

(https://softblueshimmer.bandcamp.com/album/love-lives-in-the-body)

Soft Blue Shimmer "Prism of Feeling"

Song Stories: Blue Monday

 When Wil and I started the This Wreckage ‘zine over 30 years ago now, the idea is that we would have people submit material that we would throw in each issue as is and put it out to the world.  What we didn’t realize going in is that most people do not want to actually share things like that.  We struggled in finding material to achieve our albeit ambitious goal of a monthly issue. 

However, in a small way, I’d like to float out a similar request we used to do every issue, but with more of a singular focus.  I am hoping that anyone who reads this would be willing to send some kind of story of a certain song that means something to them.  This could mean a short story, an essay, a drawing, a photograph, a poem, a few words, I don’t know.  One of my favorite things is to tie music to pretty much every waking minute of my life.  It’s a problem really.  There are hundreds of songs that evoke a lot of emotions for me for a variety of reasons based on their being nearby at the time.  I absolutely love hearing and reading other people’s stories along these lines.  I don’t care the genre or the artist, or my personal history, if any, with the song, I find these stories endlessly fascinating.

I’m hoping to encourage any and every one who might be willing to send some of their stories to me via messenger, or via email: tangledrec@hotmail.com.  I would like to share them here, on this site, if given the permission.

Please ask any questions you may have.

Matt Jenkins has been kind enough to share a story.  Here it is: 

Growing up in LC in the 80’s, there was plenty of pop music and metal. I love both. A wonderful memory I have is from 8^th grade. After basketball practice, I needed a ride to the Driftwood Library. It was about 6 pm and, of course, just a little dark and rainy. A friend on the team was getting picked up by his big brother, who was in high school, and I was going to catch that ride. I ended up in a rusty 70’s Honda Accord hatchback with about six people (but it seemed like twenty). This, I think, was the first time I heard a subwoofer.

 

FUCK! They were playing AC/DC and getting high from a Pringles can made into a pipe with a carb. I was all in. I still remember inhaling and looking down at the Pringles guy with his mustache. Nemo? But AC/DC is not my song story. The song that rocked my world was “Blue Monday” by New Order. It was just such a different sound and for a kid who already had designs on leaving LC and trying to see the world, it was a revelation and a break from the pop, the metal, all the other common forms of music. AC/DC might rock a sub-woofer, but that beat on “Blue Monday” was, and still is, so fucking electronic that it’s like a digital heartbeat. It seemed to transport me into the future, a beat from far away big cities. When I think of all the things that have happened since, the advent, rise, and domination of the Internet and social media, all the various forms of digital culture from the human genome project to AI, to electric cars, that beat in “Blue Monday” was calling to us. How could we not know? This present moment used to be the unimaginable future.

How does it feel?

(http://www.williamlmoore.tumblr.com)

New Order "Blue Monday"

Dawn of the Freak

The Haunted Youth

Dawn of the Freak

(Mayway)

The debut album from The Haunted Youth opens with a short rough, yet simple instrumental and closes with a lofi acoustic heart tugging ballad.  The eight tracks in-between are some kind of amazing collection of postpunk pop wonders that are so streamlined and perfect that they play like a greatest hits album from a pioneer of the genre.

Joachim Leibens, from Belgium, has managed to learn from the past.  Over the years, especially before MP3s and streaming changed the music industry forever, occasionally, an “alternative” artist or band would sneak a catchy song or two into mainstream radio.  I’m talking about songs by Modern English (“I Melt with You”), The Church (“Under the Milky Way”), The Cure (“Just Like Heaven”), or especially The Psychedelic Furs (a few), among others.  These were triumphant moments for those of us who were exhausted from the overplayed pop hits that we mostly heard on the top 40 radio stations that us folks in small towns were pretty much stuck with.  These random breakthroughs would spur on discovery of new and unusual music that we had to hunt down in the nearest cities, and these would lead us to other artists.  These artists were different.  Generally, more experimental, thought-provoking and interesting.  Generally, they had more insightful lyrics and sounds.  They were often darker in sound, but still tied to the idea of pop hooks.  It’s as if The Haunted Youth have cleaned out any of those variations and failed experiments that were buried on those old albums, and put out a collection that is so unrelentingly focused that every song sounds like one of those breakthrough hits.

“Broken,” the first song I heard from them, is an epic breathy anthem, whose guitar chorus is magical and downright exciting!  So many of these songs have very few lyrics - mainly a few lines, repeated at key moments, a sturdy rumbling bassline and beat, some spiraling or scratchy rhythm guitars, and nothing to get in the way of the point.  “Teen Rebel” is super infectious, though a bit odd.  The vocal is kind of a snotty retort to the so-called Teen Rebel, who is “always wanting something more.”  Though, it could be irritating, these lines are sung/spoken atop a Chameleons-like bed of guitar reverb, which is always great.  If one were to remove the bass and drums, this song could qualify for an Ambient genre all-time classic.  All of the singles, like the hand clapping addiction that is “Gone,” or the scratchy simplicity of “Shadows,” and the sing along attraction of “Coming Home” (opens similar to New Order’s “Procession”) should be international blockbusters. 

There’s a no frills/no bullshit thing going on here that I dig and I think a lot of people would to.  A great example of this is the song “I Feel Like Shit and I Wanna Die,” is exactly what the title implies.  No sugarcoating.  No nonsense to obscure the message.  No room for interpretation.  The music is stunning – something similar to an early OMD ballad.  So is this album.  I’m anxious to hear more!

(https://thehauntedyouthofficial.bandcamp.com/album/dawn-of-the-freak)

The Haunted Youth "Broken"

 

Canary Yellow

 

Soft Kill

Canary Yellow

(Cercle Social)

There are those times in High School and college, or thereabouts, where most of us start our search for how we want to be identified.  Identity is important to us when we’re young, because we don’t know what we are.  We’ve been told how to be by our authority figures, but at some point, we begin to question things and try to understand what type of person we want to be.  It’s an exciting and dramatic time, because it feels lonely to search for meaning and direction and exciting, because there’s so much opportunity and discovery.  Oftentimes, the music we develop a taste for becomes a tangible source of community.  We begin to gravitate to others who like similar things.  We change our look and adopt new personas to fit in with a new clique or scene.  Sometimes it can go deep and it is all very serious and very important.

Now that I’m old, I am both mystified by it all, and I miss the promise of those days.  I never really felt like I found a niche when I was young, because I really never wanted to fit in.  I did desperately, but at the same time, was mostly content with being by myself.  It was a time of being sad, because I was lonely, and yet never comfortable with others – especially in groups.  I do, however, miss how fired up I would get when I ran across new music that I felt an affinity for.  That felt like home.  That spoke to me.  That taught me.  That helped me not feel so alone.  Music still does these things for me.  I still get energized when I run across music that fits into my narrow-ish tastes.  However, most of those harken back to those earlier times.  They are nostalgic, even if they are new and by younger artists.

Having said that, within the last few years, I have learned about Portland’s own Soft Kill.  They are fantastic!  They exude that perfect band for young discovery.  At least that’s what I think and feel when I hear them.  They write songs that remind me of “In-Between Days” Cure, that are a bit more “street,” yet which are genuinely sad and reflective, and yet incredibly catchy earworms that can fill one with energy and a real passion and angst.

Soft Kill’s latest offering is Canary Yellow.  I originally got sucked into their energy with their previous proper LP, Dead Kids R.I.P. City, from 2020.  Yes, they remind me of younger days, and I’m okay with that.  I listened to Dead Kids a lot and reveled into those old angsty feelings.  It reminded me how important those times were and thankful that most of those old anxieties became meaningless to me now.  Don’t get me wrong.  My anxieties are numerous – just different.  Canary Yellow is very similar to the previous album with songs full of an energized sadness that are absolutely tuneful.  I mean, this is a fun and enjoyable listen no matter what.

Songwriter, Tobias Grave, has a knack for catchy melodies.  The pre-LP single “Magic Garden” with its acoustic strums and hummable guitar and keyboard melody should be heard by a wider audience, or the endlessly addictive tune that is “Rocks & Blows,” will creep into one’s head and stay there, in a good way.  The piano anointed “Domino” is another favorite with its inherent drama that hints of the magnificent Stars at their best.  The ballad, “The Line” sung by Ruth Radelet formerly of another long-time Portland stalwart, Chromatics, is a touching moment of loss and heartbreak, as well as sweet moment of variety.  I love the police station free phone message that is “Joey,” which opens the album and provides the title, and the epic album closer, “Lake Shore Drive,” with its music box like piano melody crossed with a “Love in a Car”-esque high end guitar atmospherics, is dreamy and momentous. 

The entire damn album passes by too quickly.  Lucky for all of us, we can play it over and over again, which I will continue to do.

(https://anopendoor.bandcamp.com/album/canary-yellow)

Soft Kill "Magic Garden"